Watching You Go

She smiled at the embarrassing story
Chuckled at my silly face
Burst into laughter as I talked to my napkin because I was too scared to talk to her and mess up
She blushed when I held her hand
Sighed as I kissed her

She frowns now
Her eyes have lost their glow
Her once rosy cheeks are now vacant of color
Her body trembles when I get closer
She cries, she says she has to leave

My life is crumbling around me
The one thing I knew has gone and now I'm left alone
Her image remains in my mind and nags me into depression
If only I could have done something
Alone...... alone....... alone.....

I can't bring myself to tears
There's nothing to cry about
There's nothing to be done
It has been unbearable to watch you go
But I'm left in a uneasy peace because I had been yours even if for a small amount of time

Fix you...

We shared a glance today. The look in your eyes saying you wanted to be with me forever. Mine saying I couldn't dare dream of a world without you right next to me.

Yesterday we put together a puzzle, I said that we're like two puzzle pieces, we fit just right even with our rigid edges.

The day before I was singing you a song when you cried.

The other week you tripped into my arms and chuckled and gave me a kiss.

Last month you made me a cake, with whipped cream all over it and a strawberry that you'd cut in half to make the shape of a heart.

Last year you grabbed my hand as we walked through the park and never let go.

Long before that we were younger but you still had that spark in your eye and I still wanted to make you the happiest girl in the world.

A minute ago you stared into my eyes and with just a whisper said that you had never been more happy in your entire life than when you were right next to me. Then you closed your eyes and didn't wake up.

......

Day after day, I couldn't stop thinking of ways to bring you back. To fix you. To have you by my side.

Now, every night I fall asleep knowing that the world I'll dream of will have you right there by me with the most beautiful smile and with tears in your eyes, saddened by my absence. Every night I fall asleep and can't help but grab your hand as we walk passed the stars and glimpse the eternities.

"If you love me only in my dreams, let me be asleep forever."
Author Unknown

Sadie, Sadie how you nag me....

Oh my dear Sadie how I love you so.

I love the way you perk up when you see me come through the door. I love the face you make when you yawn and the skip in you step. I love how big your eyes are and how you seem to stare into my soul when you look at me but Sadie, Sadie how you nag me....

Every day I here the scratching on my door begging for me to bring you in. Whimpering as my father enters the room and you stand there hopelessly afraid. Begging for snacks and pleading for just one piece of ham. During the summer you are afraid of the fireworks, which I don't blame you for, but when the fear causes you to crawl under my bed as I'm trying to sleep I can't stand it!

Sadie I don't think I handle having such a one sided relationship! I need a break some sort of relief from this horribly parasitic relationship.....

but at the same time I'm torn, I love the way you lick my face and the way you occasionally take naps with me! Most of all I love the way only one of your ears stands up while the other is crooked. I can't give up on you! Not now after so long! Nine years. They've been amazing. Sadie I still Love you!