I woke up this morning like usual.
I lay there thinking about what I had dreamt about.
Sometimes I feel relieved to be back in the real world.
Sometimes I wish I could stay in that dream forever.
Those dreams are the ones with You in them.
Usually the dreams involve me in a form of action, like running or walking or talking.
Sometimes You're in danger other times You're just there.
But in every one of them I love that You're there.
You keep me a float in the action of my dream pulling me away to a different place.
Sometimes we just walk with nothing important on our minds.
Although, You never seem to be there when there are zombies though.
Anyway...
If I could I would never wake up.
You would always be there happily joining me on an adventure.
Where we're in love.
Never bothered by the pains of the real world.
Unfortunately, I wake up and that dream is someone else's reality.
And I lay in pain as reality rings in my ears and blinds me.
Showing posts with label You. Show all posts
Showing posts with label You. Show all posts
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Dying in the Dark
Today I'm torn.
Tried by no one, nor accounted for by anyone.
I am not forced to make any decisions.
I am simply left alone.
To my awful self, who is driven to madness.
I am surrounded by darkness and fear.
There is nothing in sight to bring me back.
The past returns and attacks my soul again and again.
I do not think to run away or to hide.
I walk alone in the darkness.
Afraid and not courageous enough to cry for help.
I decide to let it come.
To end me and turn me to a heartless.
To feel nothing and wander like a drone.
I'm not fighting, I'm tired.
My dignity is gone.
I'm not worthy of respect or love.
Tomorrow will not come, the dawn of hope is faulty.
The sun will not come again.
It's warmth is not given to those that are undeserving.
Instead it flees and takes everyone it respects with it.
I am left to die in the dark.
To die even without a hope.
The sun will not rise.
I will not feel this love.
I shudder as the cold comes.
Touching what once was my heart.
Now it becomes like every other organ, useless.
I don't know whether I'm sleeping or not because even if I were
my dreams would be enveloped in darkness.
It seams to have been days, months, maybe years without light.
I've forgotten the feeling of it.
There's noise though.
Footsteps.
Heavy breathing.
Screaming of fear.
"Hello? Can I help?"
The footsteps stop.
They shift.
Then approach.
"I'm afraid. Please don't leave me alone."
Clearly a woman.
"I won't I promise."
She approaches, reaching out and grabs my arm and lowers to my hand.
Now we won't get lost.
Her hand in mine creates heat.
It's incredible.
I haven't felt this in so long.
It's spreading, I can feel my body warm up.
My heart is thawing.
My hand is continuing to get warmer and warmer.
But now a weird glow is coming from our hands.
She gasps.
I gasp.
The glow gets brighter and eventually it's practically blinding.
It's spreading across our bodies.
Together we are creating this light.
Together we've brought this impractical feat to happen.
Together we are our own sun and we no longer have to live in the dark.
Tried by no one, nor accounted for by anyone.
I am not forced to make any decisions.
I am simply left alone.
To my awful self, who is driven to madness.
I am surrounded by darkness and fear.
There is nothing in sight to bring me back.
The past returns and attacks my soul again and again.
I do not think to run away or to hide.
I walk alone in the darkness.
Afraid and not courageous enough to cry for help.
I decide to let it come.
To end me and turn me to a heartless.
To feel nothing and wander like a drone.
I'm not fighting, I'm tired.
My dignity is gone.
I'm not worthy of respect or love.
Tomorrow will not come, the dawn of hope is faulty.
The sun will not come again.
It's warmth is not given to those that are undeserving.
Instead it flees and takes everyone it respects with it.
I am left to die in the dark.
To die even without a hope.
The sun will not rise.
I will not feel this love.
I shudder as the cold comes.
Touching what once was my heart.
Now it becomes like every other organ, useless.
I don't know whether I'm sleeping or not because even if I were
my dreams would be enveloped in darkness.
It seams to have been days, months, maybe years without light.
I've forgotten the feeling of it.
There's noise though.
Footsteps.
Heavy breathing.
Screaming of fear.
"Hello? Can I help?"
The footsteps stop.
They shift.
Then approach.
"I'm afraid. Please don't leave me alone."
Clearly a woman.
"I won't I promise."
She approaches, reaching out and grabs my arm and lowers to my hand.
Now we won't get lost.
Her hand in mine creates heat.
It's incredible.
I haven't felt this in so long.
It's spreading, I can feel my body warm up.
My heart is thawing.
My hand is continuing to get warmer and warmer.
But now a weird glow is coming from our hands.
She gasps.
I gasp.
The glow gets brighter and eventually it's practically blinding.
It's spreading across our bodies.
Together we are creating this light.
Together we've brought this impractical feat to happen.
Together we are our own sun and we no longer have to live in the dark.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Watching You Go
She smiled at the embarrassing story
Chuckled at my silly face
Burst into laughter as I talked to my napkin because I was too scared to talk to her and mess up
She blushed when I held her hand
Sighed as I kissed her
She frowns now
Her eyes have lost their glow
Her once rosy cheeks are now vacant of color
Her body trembles when I get closer
She cries, she says she has to leave
My life is crumbling around me
The one thing I knew has gone and now I'm left alone
Her image remains in my mind and nags me into depression
If only I could have done something
Alone...... alone....... alone.....
I can't bring myself to tears
There's nothing to cry about
There's nothing to be done
It has been unbearable to watch you go
But I'm left in a uneasy peace because I had been yours even if for a small amount of time
Chuckled at my silly face
Burst into laughter as I talked to my napkin because I was too scared to talk to her and mess up
She blushed when I held her hand
Sighed as I kissed her
She frowns now
Her eyes have lost their glow
Her once rosy cheeks are now vacant of color
Her body trembles when I get closer
She cries, she says she has to leave
My life is crumbling around me
The one thing I knew has gone and now I'm left alone
Her image remains in my mind and nags me into depression
If only I could have done something
Alone...... alone....... alone.....
I can't bring myself to tears
There's nothing to cry about
There's nothing to be done
It has been unbearable to watch you go
But I'm left in a uneasy peace because I had been yours even if for a small amount of time
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Hindsight
I look behind me and am startled by my shadow
Scared of the way it stalks me
It wasn't until I was in darkness that thought I had found peace
As I calmed I realized now my shadow was all around me
The darkness was my shadow!
I leapt in fear fleeing the room
There was no escape from the thing behind me
I feel as though I'm doomed to be chased my entire life
I sat in a ball shivering from fear
For hours I could feel it watching me
Paying close attention to me trying to find my weaknesses
When subtly a hand rests upon my shoulder
I look up and see you
You reach for my hand and pull me to my feet
There is no shadow beneath yours
"Brother," you say, "why do you hide?"
"There is nothing to be afraid of, I'm here by your side.
Come on, let's go out into the sun
And make this shadow be undone."
Scared of the way it stalks me
It wasn't until I was in darkness that thought I had found peace
As I calmed I realized now my shadow was all around me
The darkness was my shadow!
I leapt in fear fleeing the room
There was no escape from the thing behind me
I feel as though I'm doomed to be chased my entire life
I sat in a ball shivering from fear
For hours I could feel it watching me
Paying close attention to me trying to find my weaknesses
When subtly a hand rests upon my shoulder
I look up and see you
You reach for my hand and pull me to my feet
There is no shadow beneath yours
"Brother," you say, "why do you hide?"
"There is nothing to be afraid of, I'm here by your side.
Come on, let's go out into the sun
And make this shadow be undone."
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Drifting into bliss.... Drifting to you....
I woke up this morning expecting to see the person who only a moment ago had been stand right by me. Partially dazed from sleep I can only see a glimpse of you in the backs of my eyelid. It was you. Your safety, your passion, your emotion, your delight, and your unconditional love. Gone from my presence as I drift back into time. The place that has too much demand. Falling out of the place I call reality, I begin my day. Hardly remembering you as you're slowly dragged into the caves that litter my mind. Everything seems to take you away. This worlds food, this worlds sounds, this worlds sights, this worlds air. You fall from my attention and the demons that hide in my mind take you away. You don't receive the spot you deserve in my mind. Instead you are imprisoned. Held captive and punished for my mistakes. Until at the moment a spark hits me and your face returns. Your beauty, your love and your strength return and you take your spot. Next to me showing your power and aw. Now as I drift back into reality you become my companion. I can hold your hand and run with with you. Passing the thorns, the anger, the hate, and we become once again the two who find peace and freedom within each other.
Bliss...
Until, the demons return. They rummage through the bushes, through the buildings, following our trail. All to take you away and return me to another world. One that is not my home, not my place. I won't let them take you again. I won't, I won't, I Won't, I WON'T, i won't, i wo.....
...
A half seen face returns into my mind only to leave me more confused about who she is. I don't know her. I don't remember..... I don't remember....... I can't remember...... No.
Bliss...
Until, the demons return. They rummage through the bushes, through the buildings, following our trail. All to take you away and return me to another world. One that is not my home, not my place. I won't let them take you again. I won't, I won't, I Won't, I WON'T, i won't, i wo.....
...
A half seen face returns into my mind only to leave me more confused about who she is. I don't know her. I don't remember..... I don't remember....... I can't remember...... No.
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