My Dream

I know that my writing are normally very... well angsty, but today I want to talk about my dreams. This last week I realized that I want to be a treasure hunter. Yes I'm being serious, a treasure hunter. I don't mean a crazy gun nut trying to steal money or that creepy dude in the park or on the beach with a metal detector. I want to look for lost treasure. Sure there have been some video game influences to get me toward this awesome dream but does that really matter. This is a dream, that when I think about it, I've wanted my entire life. To travel all around the word. Learn to protect myself from thieves, pirates, monsters, what have you. Become incredibly rich. Understand people, languages, history, theories, myths, religions, and the entire human race from the beginning to the end. To learn how to sail and fly a plane and helicopter. To experience a love for life beyond material but for searching for and idea beyond my wildest dreams and continuing to look for it until my dying day. 

This world is full of life. Of people striving everyday to find out who they are. There are billions of billions of worlds in this universe. I can at least try to understand mine and the bigger problem myself. Every lie is based on a kernel of truth. All of the stories, the legends can't all be wrong. Reason does have role in the universe and it is by our ability to imagine around our world of reason that we see how reason fundamentally works.

Most of all, this dream isn't meant to be a dream that is meant to make me rich, I mean really the first few years are going to be rough, but I think this dream will make me everything I want to be one day. Strong, independent, intelligent, respectful, intrigued by stories and an adventurer. I don't want to live encircled about by a cubicle, or limited in my imagination, I want to explore the world that I've been given and learn to enjoy everything that it has to offer, including people, places and things like treasure, and most of all imagination.

I hope you respect that i have this outlandish dream. After all what are we without our dreams? I can't be afraid my own dreams and neither should you. It's all that we have to make this world better. 

My Life is Really Starting.

I can't explain how I feel. There's something so amazing about this feeling. All my life I've been waiting for my life to begin. (Not to quote Tangled.) The first stroke has been made and now a masterpiece is born. I build my life and with each move I'm changed into everything I've dreamed I'd be. I'm no longer held onto by time, I'm the master of time.

I know it's cheesy to believe in fairytales. Of happy ending and true love, but I know it's real. Unfortunately I have to wait two years for my true search to begin, but it's so close I'm just in it for the ride now.

My life is a story. It's my fairytale and everyday is a new adventure waiting to be foregone and I finally see it playing out the way I always new it would. The thing is I don't know how it'll turn out or what I'll do, but it doesn't matter because I know my adventure will lead me to the exact spot I need to be, to make my own happy ever after.

Rain Dance

I know it's stupid and really crazy,
But that's how it works
I can't get you out of my head
I was stuck hoping you would change your mind
But now I'm resorting to my last hope
It's not going to be at the airport
As your about to board a plane
Or out in the rain
Soaked to the bone
It's going to be in that moment
You look me in the eyes
And the world disappears
We're left alone
And I profess my love for you
For a moment you're unsure
Lost in the insanity of it all
But soon the fog clears
And I see the change in your eyes
I know it's changed everything
But the best part is we're not afraid
As we return to the world

ABC I Agree

Adventure

He awoke one the floor, which was a little odd but it didn't matter. He was flushed of color. He sat up hoping that the tingling in his feet would go away.  He stood up. Put on his clothes and walked out.  The day was like any other for the time of year. It was the rainy season. And that's exactly how it was.  He walked out in the rain without an umbrella and walked the four blocks to his job, in the mail room.

He couldn't say he particularly liked his job, but at the same time he was always daydreaming and had never actually done his job. Surprising I know, but I digress, he would start his day thinking of all the things that he had never done. He had always dreamed of going to Africa and chasing a lion through the jungle. He would be lost in the fantasies of his imagination. Because he didn't take into account how long his time at work was taken up just from thinking, he just seemed to miss it.

He went home living his life in a dream. Being carried on the wings of a dragon, to the Chinese take-out and from there climbing the frigid Mount Everest to his apartment. Which was all the way on the sixth floor.  He arrived at the top step placing his very lucid dream flag in the top step.

For some reason he couldn't imagine anything in the hallway between the stairs and his apartment door but as soon as his door opened, the wind of the Sahara blew down the hall. He step in, grab hold of his gear jumped on his camel and he was off. They followed the Nile until the reached the pyramids and then until they reached the Mediterranean Sea , and from there they traveled west by boat to the Moroccan bay. But somehow finding a Chinese stand in the market.

His day was never dull. It was lived to the fullest until his eyes could not stay open anymore. Usually passing out on the floor with his imaginary treasure map still in hand. Now the real dreaming would begin.

His imagination was magnified in sleep.  The action was more intense, the women even more beautiful but yet at the same time the waves were bigger, the monsters were bigger and scarier. It wasn't uncommon for a nightmare to occur. He would wake up sweating, shivering and cold with nothing to do but pull the covers over his head.  Falling back into his dream.

Again he woke up but time he felt worse. He had a migraine and he could hardly open his eyes. It seemed so bright in his room. He figured he would just stay home today and call in sick. He got some food together, took an aspirin and laid down on his bed. The food was helping, although he still felt like his head was on fire.

As he was beginning to fall back asleep, the doorbell rang. It hurt. He got up and walked to the door, looked through the peep hole and to his astonishment it was a woman. He opened the door. She looked at him as he stood there looking groggy. As moments passed they continued to stare at each other. Finally they both decide to speak at the same time, simultaneously interrupting each other. The tensions were high. He trying to nip the more awkward moments in the bud asked her what she was here for.

She responded, it was a monologue she had given several times before. Advertising the benefits of this or that from a latest and greatest in technology. She was surprised to find that he was watching her very intently. She continued, asked him if he would like to try the items.

He told her that he couldn't focus, but that he was certainly interested. He invited her in to talk about it more.

She talked, he listened. He would make a silly joke, and talk about his wonderful adventures. Eventually he asked her out. She accepted.  They dated and fell in love. She loved him when he would talk about all the amazing things that he did. They were married. They spent their honeymoon in Africa chasing a lion through the jungle. They then decided they wanted to go to the great barrier reef. They never went back home instead they continued to have adventures together. Growing closer and closer with each moment. And now the most important part of this story happens now.

She dies.

Alone. He breaks. Staring at himself in the mirror, he sees his eyes have died. He doesn't know what to do anymore. His life was spent with the woman that realized his imagination as beauty and never let it die. Now as she rests, his imagination has died also. He has lost the one person who loved him for his mind. Now his mind is gone. He is left without the companionship of his mind, unable to comprehend even the simplest thing. Driven to madness. Alone.


*****


Years pass, haunted and tortured. Lost in the recesses of a mental ward. Is when he sees her. She talks with him. She tells him to remember when he was capable of imagining anything at all. He does. The transformation is that of black and white turning into color. Life growing where it couldn't before. He looked out his window. Saw the sun and became engulfed with the adventures he had once undergone. Together they become free. She leaves him a piece of herself inside his heart so he'll never forget.

He continues to this day seeing wonder after wonder from the inside of his head, strolling along with the one who loved him for his spirit.

Clinging

There's no such thing as a "type of person"

Sure someone may be more likely to do something based on passed events though,

The character of a person shouldn't be defined by the type

But more so on the Strength of Will that a person has

We are changing so often that we usually don't realize it

Every time we think, we breath, we talk, we learn we change

No one gets it right the first time or even the second or tenth or fiftieth times

It's by the strength that we have to get back up

It's about running even though your beaten and bruised

To smile in the face of pain 

Enjoy the opportunity to even be alive

To make your life the happiest creation you can make

Man's most basic instinct is to cling to life

But somewhere the evolution has pushed that out of our system

Although the need for physical clinging isn't as demanding 

As the days of the cavemen, the emotional clinging is dying

To many people don't cling (emotionally) to life

They take the life put in their hands by the generation before them

The people who live life to the fullest are those that dare

Dare to keep hope alive, Dare to keep a smile on their face 

And STRIVE to live happily. 

There are billions of things to bring us to tears 

And if we even had a little courage to cling to joy,

That would be the day

The strongest people on this planet are the people who are truly happy. 

How happy are you?

The Dreary Soul Awaits the Day

The dreary soul awaits the day

When misfortune and pain will subside

When love will be at play 

And it will not have to hide

The lonely dove sits in it's nest

Waiting to swell up in pride

And leave behind in detest

The days before it tried

The blissful boy sat on his bed

Listening to the world collide

Unknowing of what was ahead

Unaware of the bumpy ride

The dreary soul fears the night

Where the sun will not abide

And in utter pain and fright

Embarks where the demons preside

The Dreadfully Slow and Often Lonely World of a Dream

The mist is lifting, like it always does.
I see myself walking, it appears as if on a city street.
Everyone is walking the opposite direction.
They don't seem to notice me opposing their movement
or the placement of my third person visual, like usual.
Time seems to slow, everyone else slows to a stop.
I keep moving onward, backwards.
I can't seem to place a finger on where i'm headed.
There are buildings all around but not one of them strikes my interest.
I recognize a few people facing the other direction but the other me seems not to notice.
I'm stuck watching myself go backwards, annoyed, and confused.
I move around to the front side of me to push myself to a stop.
Not exactly simple when you have no real body
but it wasn't my body that I needed.
Over my own shoulder I see her, in a red dress, trying to catch up with me.
The other me doesn't seem to notice, instead it's lonely world continues to drag me away.
But she's there, grabbing my arm.
Turning me around and wrapping her arms around me.
She stopped me, no one else noticed but her.
Instantaneously the other me is removed from the world of plunder
wrapping my arms around her in return.
Together we continue to walk up stream, and time returns to normal.
That's when I wake up, typically, and the dream happens again
but usually it's more realistic.
A more realistic view point.
A more realistic movement of time.
And a more realistic end...

http://tadlysmusic.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-cant-make-you-love-menick-of-time-bon.html

Music

In case you are in the mood to listen to something new or your interested in music take a look at my new blog dedicated to music.

http://tadlysmusic.blogspot.com/

Dusty

Broken Dream

I woke up this morning like usual.
I lay there thinking about what I had dreamt about.
Sometimes I feel relieved to be back in the real world.
Sometimes I wish I could stay in that dream forever.
Those dreams are the ones with You in them.
Usually the dreams involve me in a form of action, like running or walking or talking.
Sometimes You're in danger other times You're just there.
But in every one of them I love that You're there.
You keep me a float in the action of my dream pulling me away to a different place.
Sometimes we just walk with nothing important on our minds.
Although, You never seem to be there when there are zombies though.
Anyway...
If I could I would never wake up.
You would always be there happily joining me on an adventure.
Where we're in love.
Never bothered by the pains of the real world.


Unfortunately, I wake up and that dream is someone else's reality.
And I lay in pain as reality rings in my ears and blinds me.

I'll Walk With You

I'll walk with You through the park
I'll walk with You on the trail
I'll walk with You in a zig zag
I'll walk with You anywhere
You're such a special person
That any walk on the beach
Or skip through the rain would be an adventure
Or it could be our time to talk
Or I could just walk next to You
And You next to me
Not a word said but
Having the brightest face
Due to Your presence in my life
Life is a trail that is never straight (and mostly uphill)
But with You I would walk uphill all day
I'd walk in circles in the burning sun
I would walk on broken feet
To the end of the earth
If it meant that I could share
Every one of these moments
With You

Runaways

Somedays I like to sit and wonder what it would be like if we just ran away.
Living out of my car, traveling from place to place.
Together we could see the world.
One place at a time.
We would tell each other everything.
We would be so close because we would have shared the world with each other.
Everything we would do would be for the other person.
Because we would feel so strongly about each other that nothing else would matter.
Together we would become a pool of knowledge.
Together we would share in pains as well as joys.
And we would never have to worry about the big things.
We would be in our own world.
Separated from other people and places by an imaginary space and time.
We would have each other and that would be all that we need.
And together we would build our home.
Anywhere in the world, it wouldn't matter.
Because love is stronger than anything.
And that's what we'll have no matter how far we go.

Long time....

I miss you
I haven't seen you for days months, maybe even years.
The seasons are changing but the reality is so my love.
Changing like the frozen fields of winter into the pastures of spring.
I haven't seen you in a while, but the love is still strong.
A long time ago our souls bonded stronger than anything I've felt.
That bond is still there.
Over rivers, oceans and mountains.
Although your face may begin to fade.
Your presence is still familiar to me.
It always will be.
I miss you.
I haven't seen you in days, but you will always be here with me.
Where even imagining you here brings me sanity.
And the love you send from far away, will always come with the warm breeze.
I miss you.

Dying in the Dark

Today I'm torn.
Tried by no one, nor accounted for by anyone.
I am not forced to make any decisions.
I am simply left alone.
To my awful self, who is driven to madness.
I am surrounded by darkness and fear.
There is nothing in sight to bring me back.
The past returns and attacks my soul again and again.
I do not think to run away or to hide.
I walk alone in the darkness.
Afraid and not courageous enough to cry for help.
I decide to let it come.
To end me and turn me to a heartless.
To feel nothing and wander like a drone.
I'm not fighting, I'm tired.
My dignity is gone.
I'm not worthy of respect or love.
Tomorrow will not come, the dawn of hope is faulty.
The sun will not come again.
It's warmth is not given to those that are undeserving.
Instead it flees and takes everyone it respects with it.
I am left to die in the dark.
To die even without a hope.
The sun will not rise.
I will not feel this love.
I shudder as the cold comes.
Touching what once was my heart.
Now it becomes like every other organ, useless.
I don't know whether I'm sleeping or not because even if I were
        my dreams would be enveloped in darkness.

It seams to have been days, months, maybe years without light.
I've forgotten the feeling of it.
There's noise though.
Footsteps.
Heavy breathing.
Screaming of fear.
"Hello? Can I help?"
The footsteps stop.
They shift.
Then approach.
"I'm afraid. Please don't leave me alone."
Clearly a woman.
"I won't I promise."
She approaches, reaching out and grabs my arm and lowers to my hand.
Now we won't get lost.
Her hand in mine creates heat.
It's incredible.
I haven't felt this in so long.
It's spreading, I can feel my body warm up.
My heart is thawing.
My hand is continuing to get warmer and warmer.
But now a weird glow is coming from our hands.
She gasps.
I gasp.
The glow gets brighter and eventually it's practically blinding.
It's spreading across our bodies.
Together we are creating this light.
Together we've brought this impractical feat to happen.
Together we are our own sun and we no longer have to live in the dark.

Watching You Go

She smiled at the embarrassing story
Chuckled at my silly face
Burst into laughter as I talked to my napkin because I was too scared to talk to her and mess up
She blushed when I held her hand
Sighed as I kissed her

She frowns now
Her eyes have lost their glow
Her once rosy cheeks are now vacant of color
Her body trembles when I get closer
She cries, she says she has to leave

My life is crumbling around me
The one thing I knew has gone and now I'm left alone
Her image remains in my mind and nags me into depression
If only I could have done something
Alone...... alone....... alone.....

I can't bring myself to tears
There's nothing to cry about
There's nothing to be done
It has been unbearable to watch you go
But I'm left in a uneasy peace because I had been yours even if for a small amount of time

Faith and Love

There is so much power to be had in this world. There is that which is inherited or that which is taken. Many are misused. Many are flawed. But there are those which are based on truth. They are earned, they are used in the most dire of circumstances and when used properly will give perfect results every time. Faith and Love are this power. There is nothing that we can't do if we have faith and love in Jesus Christ. Miracles have happened for powerful and sobering reasons and they are the power of faith and love at work. When we have given everything that we can give and come out short that is when we will be empowered. When we will be given the help. I know that there is truth in Jesus Christ. That he has suffered everything that I and everyone else has suffered. I have experienced his love in my times of walking through the appearance of hell. I have felt the relief of a Savior who loves those on the earth who have struggled to know the truth about his life and have struggled to do what is right. I have faith in him and would follow the will of God and Jesus Christ to the end of this life. I will always have faith in Jesus Christ because I have a sure knowledge that he is my Savior and He is always there. Waiting for me to make it back.

Dusty

I Found You

I yell the words "Ready or not here I come."
Then I run, I know where you usually hide, I think I'll start there.
Nothing.
That's okay maybe behind those trees.
Nothing.
Behind the shed.
Nothing.
Oh come on, by the fence.
Nothing.
On the roof, in the garbage can, in the tree, between the bushes.
Nothing.
Where are you?
You're neither here nor there.
But you could be either there or here.
I sit down to think.
Thinking is too hard to do standing.
Then I hear you, "You're still playing this game?
It's such a shame.
I've been gone for a year.
You need to face your fear.
How could you not think that I will always be with you.
Even when I have passed through.
But please don't let it get you weary.
There something that will make you very cheery.
I'll always be within your heart.
Like it was at the very start."

Dusty

No Regrets

Some people get halfway between third and home

Just to get out

Some people give everything they have in a marathon

Just to get second

Some people put faith in another

Just to be proven wrong

What we must remember is that we will fall

We will lose the race

We will have our faith tried

But if our heart was not in it

If we didn't play with our whole soul

Or give everything past exertion

There will be regret

There will be sadness 

And there will be a longing

There are many reasons to give up

To plead for rest 

And to face our weakness

But no reason should separate us from the ability to make ourselves happy

Nothing should keep us from living our lives the way we want them to be

I don't regret my actions for I know I would not be as strong as I am today

I do not regret my words for my heart will not betray me of my feelings

I will not despair in sorrow for only reaching second

For I have ever so much better to become

And I will grow much faster without this extra weight to drag me down

Dusty

An Untitled Reply

I know how you feel,

Afraid of losing something that means everything.

I know what it's like to love something too much to let it go.

I know that you know it probably won't be the same.

But I want to you to know this.

Your amazing

Don't ever let someone be a spear in your side

Dragging you down.

You were born to do so much more than to walk and talk

You were born to fly

That first leap into the air is frightening

But then you can see everything now that your are so high.

Don't let it get you down, there is no reason to ruin a perfect smile.

Dusty

"My Weekend Plans or Something"

You know that feeling when you don't have any expectations, no one requires anything from you and your basically free to do what you will. That's the feeling I have in my dreams.

Sure I have nightmares, who doesn't, I'm terrified and I wake up in sweat and tears, but I don't feel burdened by anything in my dreams. Until I wake up, I feel real, happy.

I have epic adventures, visions of intense action and stories of triumph. Dreams of saving the damsel in distress, as well as my minds portrayal of my life with some few distortions.

Last night, I was betrayed. I was on a dark street with only the lights from the street lamps to distinguish. He was there, with a bomb, for some reason, he was with another (probably the one who gave him the bomb). They tried to attack me but of course I was on a bike.... obviously I was faster.

I then transitioned to a friends house. I tried to warn everyone there, which was practically everyone, of him and his bomb. But I was just ignored. Nothing would work. The moment arrived as he showed up and began to chased me. I hoped out a window and hopped fences and dove into bushes. I was hiding from everyone now. Thank heavens it's impossible to find someone in a bush...

Anyway I make it away safely eventually put to end his treacherous plot. Saving the day, and rejecting the girl for not having faith in me. Word. Then I walk away into the glorious sunset.

About this time.... my alarm clock screeches at me.... sometimes I get it right away, other times I wake up and have no idea where I am, hoping the stupid noise will stop just by my sheer will power..... It doesn't usually like it when I do that and tends to get louder.

But not to detract from my point, I'm powerful in my dreams, I have the opportunities to do amazing things. I never feel like I'm a waste or that I'm not forwarding myself. In there I can build cities and fly to the nearest star Betelgeuse and have a picnic on it. I have a very strong feeling I'll actually be able to do these things, they'll be my weekend plans or something.

Finally, I feel like my spirit, during a dream has the amazing opportunity to be freed from my body for just a little while, it's absolutely weightless everything it could ever want. Then when that obnoxious alarm clock rings. My spirit is lassoed and hog tied to my body and it's forced to carry this thing around all day.

Dustly